Desire
by yuki-tenshee
Summary: Killua can't sleep and tries to find out the thought that had plaguing his mind.


**Disclaimer: Hunter x Hunter is not my property.**

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**Desire**

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The new Seaside Paradise Inn charged too much for its crappy room; 350$ per night for a lousy room that smelled of wet paint and sparsely furnished interior. Except for the two single beds that almost took half of the space in the room, a table lamp in between and the two mini wardrobe at the foot of each bed, there was no other furniture in what supposedly to be the best inn in the area. Plus, the air in the room was hot, stuffy and suffocating.

Killua turned to his left side then back to the right. He kicked of his blanket and stretched on the bed as far as his hands and legs would go on the small single bed. Still uncomfortable, he spun 180° and spun another 180°. Then he tossed to his left then to his right again, trying to find a comfortable spot on the darn bed that would put his mind to rest. Somewhere in the inn they had book for the night, a grandfather clock chimed twelve times - twelve o'clock, midnight, three hours of tossing and turning in the stupid bed. With a big sighed Killua heaved himself into a sitting position. He was finally convinced that the little comfortable spot doesn't exist – at least not on this bed.

A soft snore caught his attention and Killua found himself staring enviously at Gon who was sleeping in the bed next to his. He got out of bed slowly, planning to wake Gon up and force him to accompany him through his little insomnia, besides what friends are for? But instead he found himself standing alone on the balcony, staring at the ocean. The full moon was out tonight and the ocean surface shimmered with an ethereal glow as it reflects the moonlight. A soft breeze tug at his hair softly, cooling his temper from the little insomnia he was experiencing – and probably of the restless thought that had plaguing his mind... _that_ was probably the true cause he couldn't sleep.

It had been three years now since he been with Gon, 1,068 days since he ran away from home and 25,632 hours since he last saw his family… the Zaorldyeck.

All his childhood, he had been trained in all kind of skills and techniques to groom him into an elite assassin. He still remember – will never forget – the twelve years of harsh training, merciless killing, unimaginable pain… and the rare occasion where his father would announce an outing for the whole family for a whole day and they would all have fun…

The memory of a surprised birthday party was still fresh in his mind.

He leaned against the balcony, listening to the soft sound of the wave washing over the beach below. It had been his birthday party and he was six that day. He remembered Father had ordered him to hunt down targets that he had set up on the west side of Mount Kukuru and he had obediently followed his father order… But when he got to the area, he never did found the targets; instead he found all his family together wishing him a very happy birthday in a clearing filled with confetti and streamers. His mother had had their chief chef bake a gigantic birthday cake, decorated artistically with icing just for him and he had filled his stomach happily with it. Then, he had played with Illumi, Karuto, Alluka and Milluki all day long, though he could not quite remember what the game was. But he had fun and that was also the day he had received his precious Skateboard from Father… He longed for the time to repeat itself.

Suddenly, realization hit him; he misses his family.

He snorted at the ocean - at the irony of it all. He imagined that if this was a few years back, he probably would have hit his head on a wall for thinking such a ridiculous and stupid idea. But … he understand now, this empty ache in his heart was really just a longing for his family.

They had put him through such a misery and he hated them for it, but nothing would ever change the fact that they are also his family. They are also the cause he was so powerful, now. And had he never showed them his gratitude. Somehow, he felt guilty.

He slowly sank onto the balcony and stared up at the full moon, noting mentally that the color of the moon was ashen yellow instead of bloody crimson. Funny, how he had always thought the moon was red. He could have sworn it was truly blood red, at least that is the color of the moon that he remembered when his father had once brought him stargazing on the top of Mount Kukuru.

_Father…_

"_You are my son, but you also have the right to choose your own path. Go and discover yourself."_

It was the words of his father the day he had left the house. His father's permission to leave the house…

"_Come back when you're tired."_

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he came to a decision; he wanted to go home, he wanted to meet his family again, he was tired of traveling and he wanted to rest – at his own home.

Unconsciously, his mind slipped into a deep restful sleep. That night, he dreamt of the birthday party six years ago, where he had played the game hide and seek with Illumi, Karuto, Alluka and Milluki.

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**End**

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**Now that I finally finished the story…** **I think it's kind of sappy. But if you don't mind please leave a review.**


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